If you don't know me well, you'd assume I'm extroverted. I play one on TV and I'm damn good at it when I have to be. The truth is, I'm an INTJ and if given the choice to crawl into a hole and hide from the world or do quite literally anything else, I'd grab a blanket and burrito myself up in that hole.
People are energy expensive. But, I do love some of them, and so I find myself having to socialize from time to time. One of those times was yesterday, when I went to a local winery to celebrate a friend's birthday. Before long, I found myself sitting in our private room, telling story after story, making people laugh. I heard, from more than one person last night, that I should be a comedian and, "really, though", I'd be successful. A successful comedian, could you imagine how proud I'd make my grandparents?
Anyhow, at the end of the night, our party had died down and there were just four of us remaining, and we were discussing relationships, boundaries, and other related things. Eventually we meandered to the parking lot, and as we talked there, a woman who had been partying inside came out, stumbled up to us, and told us she wanted us to go with them to the next bar. That was an immediate no from me, but she kept talking and turned her attention to me, "I want to be your friend, I'm Brianna", she said. I told her I have a strict rule against being friends with anyone named Brianna, nothing personal (I was only half kidding), and she laughed. Before long, she told me she owns a crystal store in her house in the mountains and wants to hold toke and totes, moon circles, and other such things. I politely declined, telling her that I don't go out much and I much prefer sitting on the couch with my six dogs and watching foreign films. "You're my kind of woman", she replied, then asking me if I had seen a certain movie. I asked her what it's about and she got a funny expression, "I mean, it's porn". I questioned why she'd ask if I had seen it, and she said that I told her I like to sit on the couch and cuddle with my dogs while watching porn films.
Um.
I don't think I'd ever use the word "film" after "porn", but it did make me wonder what kind of person would bond with another over a puppy cuddle puddle whilst watching someone get a train run on her.
The reason I'm writing about this is because I have always been genuinely stumped as to why anyone who doesn't already know me well would want to be my friend. One of the best compliments I received in recent memory is that I am someone who helps to motivate others through making them want to be better while also making them feel it is possible to do better. "You underestimate the impact you have on others", he said. And, maybe I do.
...but do you know what I don't underestimate? The amount of time it takes to clean a damn house. I have been hiring someone to do the deep cleaning while I keep up with the day to day stuff. I think about the generations of women who had no option but to stay at home and clean and tend to the domestic duties and I am amazed that all it took was a little booze and the occasional Quaalude to keep them subdued. If I have to spend one more damn second sweeping or mopping or making a bed, I'm going to set something on fire. This shit is for the birds.
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